baroqueworks | brass pt 10

Brass
Series: Bleach
Characters: Ikkaku/Tatsuki; lots of others
notes

Tatsuki didn't lose.

She walked away with a few shallow cuts across her cheek and bruises on her arms and legs (that she could easily pass off as from a strong opponent in karate). Ikkaku dripped a bit of the styptic ointment from Hoozukimaru's hilt onto a finger and swiped it across the cuts on her cheek as she sauntered back. Yumichika's soul phone went off again and he dragged it out of his pocket to check the alert.

"Abarai-kun has this one."

"He's on patrol? Let's race him."

"Who?"

Ikkaku pointed above his eyebrow. "Cute redhead with tattoos."

"The one who was all over Ichigo?"

He snickered. "That's the one."

"I should probably get home."

Yumichika cocked his head to the side as if listening for something, and then shrugged. "Ichigo's not with him. You should come with us."

"Won't you guys get in trouble?"

Ikkaku scoffed. "In trouble with Renji?"

"While he technically outranks both of us, Vice-Captain Abarai is a dear friend, trusted associate, and frequent partner in crime. If he tells, Ikkaku will beat him to a bloody pulp."

"Damn right I will. There's a cluster by the river. Bet we can get there first. An' I'm getting the hang of this passenger thing."

"Y'know, I think I'll walk-- why do I even bother."

Ikkaku and Renji greeted each other like they hadn't met less than a week ago. "I thought you were on boring patrol!"

"Traded with Kurumawhateverhisnameis. Thought you could use a hand."

"Sure wouldn't mind some help-- Ikkaku-san, who's that?"

"Arisawa Tatsuki."

"One of Ichigo's friends? You're not supposed to involve humans, that's kinda-sorta against the rules-- why do I bother."

It occured to Tatsuki that that was probably the reaction most people had in relation to both Ikkaku and Yumichika. Renji flashed her a grin and extended his hand. Tatsuki took it. "Name's Abarai Renji. I thought I felt someone I didn't recognize powerin' up. Not bad."

"Thanks."

"Ikkaku-san hasn't been abusin' you, has he?"

"Hey."

"No, it's been fun."

"Well, good. He must be gettin' soft in his old age. Ow."

Yumichika interrupted their scuffle before it had a chance to become a brawl. "Four hollows. One for each of us?"

"Sounds good."

"Fine with me."

"I'm not usually the one talking reason in a group, but are you sure this is a good idea?"

Ikkaku ruffled Tatsuki's hair. "They're like the rats in the sewer in that video game. Lots of 'em, but they're easy to beat."

Renji stared at Ikkaku like he'd just fired off a shot of kidou and said that it was the best way to fight. Yumichika would have been similarly surprised if he hadn't seen Keigo teaching him the controls to some game when he was trying to put off homework and Mizuho was out with her friends. Tatsuki batted his arm away and cracked her knuckles. "Yeah, okay. I'm convinced. Do I get the smallest one?"

"Get the spidery one. Hey, Yumichika."

"I'll get the fast one."

"Renji--"

"I'll get the big spider one!"

"Spread out. You know how this works."

Tatsuki had no idea how it worked, but once Yumichika got the attention of the smallest, fastest hollow and Renji clocked the biggest one in the head, Ikkaku's spiritual pressure skyrocketed and the two remaining made a beeline for them. He had Hoozukimaru drawn and the spidery hollow's face pincered between scabbard and flat of his blade before throwing it to the side (which Tatsuki took as the cue to kick it in the mask) and intercepting the last one.

Yumichika finished his hollow off first-- fighting was fun, but having to clean up afterwards was too much trouble to be worth dragging it out. He watched Tatsuki dodge legs, teeth and some sort of sticky web-- hollows were getting so uncreative-- while occasionally calling advice and offers to take over.

Renji and Ikkaku finished at the same time and joined Yumichika to spectate. "Arisawa's really not bad. That's definitely a move Ikkaku-san taught her. Got me in the face with that once."

Yumichika craned his head to the side to get a better view of Tatsuki kicking the hollow's ass. "I thought judo was all throws and pins. That looked painful."

"That one's karate. Judo's got strikes but they don't really use 'em. Like... that one."

Tatsuki hooked both hands behind what she could reach of the hollow's head, pulled it down and slammed her knee into its face, cracking the mask. She backed off with an expression that Renji thought was eerily similar to Ikkaku's I-am-having-the-time-of-my-fucking-life grin, and waited for the hollow to come back and try to bite her hand off. She grabbed a pincer with both hands, then broke it over her knee.

Renji smacked Yumichika on the arm.

"That's another one of Ikkaku-san's-- sorry."

"That one's judo again."

Yumichika rubbed his shoulder. "So you did learn things from Tatsuki-chan. I thought you were just beating the tar out of each other."

"That's how I learn!"

Renji snickered.

Tatsuki yawned as she rejoined the group and Yumichika checked his soul phone for the time. Ikkaku glanced over his shoulder. "Getting pretty late."

"I'll take Tatsuki-chan home. You can finish patrol with Abarai-kun."

"I can get home by myself."

"It's late. Go with Yumichika." Ikkaku lightly bumped Yumichika's arm before he flashed away with Renji.

"I'll be fine. Really."

"I'm coming with you anyway."

Tatsuki sighed.

"There's a big one across town. I'll race ya--"

"Ikkaku-san?"

"What?"

"What're you gonna do about Arisawa when we leave?

"Nothin'. Why?"

Ikkaku was itching to take off, but Renji figured the hollow could wait a few seconds. Even if that meant Ikkaku would be looking at him like he was stupid for that much longer. "'Cause she knows about us, right? Shouldn't you-- I dunno, wipe her memories?"

"Not gonna change the fact that half this town can see ghosts. Blame Ichigo for that."

Renji squirmed. "But you're breaking the rules for some human who wasn't even involved in the Soul Society invasion."

"There're a lot'a humans that can see ghosts. Two-day suspension at most, Captain'll probably let me off with babysittin' Yachiru, an' I do that all the time anyway."

"'S a little disturbing how well you know these regulations, Ikkaku-san." Renji sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and really began to wonder if being under Captain Kuchiki's command for a few months had changed his entire worldview about rulebreaking and defying orders. Most likely.

Ikkaku slammed Hoozukimaru down on his shoulders and dropped into a crouch, expression saying something like Since when have I ever needed reasons besides 'I felt like it' to break some rules? Stop wasting time. Asshole.

Renji grinned and decided that Ikkaku could handle it himself. He'd never been in so much trouble that he couldn't talk or brawl himself out of it, and Captain Zaraki never hesitated to smash regulations to pieces whenever he felt the urge. The rest of the division seemed tame in comparison.

"I'll race you there, Ikkaku-san."

Tatsuki trailed sleepily about half a step behind Yumichika on the way back to her house. She had stayed up later to study for a tests or finish work before, but as it turned out, burning up spiritual energy wore her out. They didn't talk much-- Yumichika liked listening to his own voice, but pointless chatter was a waste of it.

That was fine with Tatsuki. It wasn't as if the silence was especially awkward or anything.

"This is it?"

"Yeah. Wanna come in for, I dunno, tea or something?"

"I think you need to sleep more than I need tea."

Tatsuki flashed him a smile. "Today was fun. Thanks."

Yumichika beamed back. "You were helping us hande our job. We should be thanking you."

"You know what I mean. I don't feel right about-- oh, hey, I know-- ask Keigo to show you a movie called Ong Bak. It's released under a different name here, but he has the original. Borrowed it last year. Not exactly as cool as getting to fight hollows, but I think you guys'd like it."

"I'll do that. Good night, Tatsuki-chan."

"Night."

Keigo stuffed his pencil back into its case, shut his textbook and went to set up the television. "Ong Bak? Sure, I need something to do besides homework."

"Your game system plays DVDs? These things are great."

"You can't figure out pre-wrapped onigiri but you make the distinction between a Playstation and a DVD player?"

Ikkaku supposed it was nice that Keigo wasn't completely terrified of him and Yumichika anymore, 'cause it'd be sort of stupid to have your hosts in a constant state of fear, but he could do without the teasing. "Does everyone fuckin' know about that?"

"Well..."

"Forget it. What's this movie about?"

"Tony Jaa beats a lot of people up with Thai martial arts. Arisawa borrowed it last year for research. It doesn't have any subtitles, but the dialogue is kinda pointless anyway."

Yumichika laughed and elbowed Ikkaku in the arm. "Tatsuki-chan knows you a lot better than she lets on."

"They use that in vale tudo?"

"Yeah, actually."

"I'm about to be left completely out of this conversation. Call me when you two find a good movie with swords."

Ikkaku looked at Keigo. "Movie about swords, uh. Zatoichi? That was pretty good. Could put it on later."

"Definitely. Pretty much any Kurosawa samurai film. Yojimbo's a good one. Hong Kong wuxia flicks kinda look more like what you guys do, though."

"Do not."

"Flying around and doing crazy flippy stuff? Totally do."

"That's really just Ikkaku. The rest of us fight somewhat more normally."

"Hey."

"And the whole powers thing totally sounds straight out of One Piece."

"What?"

"Manga. Never mind. Movie's starting."

"Just skip to the fights!"

Ikkaku leaned over on one arm of the couch and squinted at the screen. "They use their knees? Can't say I haven't thought about it..."

"Elbows too."

"Ikkaku, you could do that flip, right?"

"I could do that flip."

Keigo whistled under his breath. "Can you teach me how to do that flip?"

"Yeah, but you'd need to learn three other flips before you even try that one."

"Hey, no problem."

"Then I could probably teach you how to do that flip-- fuckin' needles."

"So swords don't bother you but needles do? You guys..."

"'You guys'? I take offense to that. And stop talking, I want to hear the movie."

"You don't speak Thai-- hey, his legs're on fire!"

"It looks great, but the fire doesn't exactly do a lot of damage."

"Yumichika, shut up'n watch the movie."

"There's a sequel, too."

"Oh my god, we're going to be here all night, aren't we?"

"Walk faster!"

"Or maybe I drop all this shit and you can carry your own damn bags--"

Matsumoto flipped a lock of hair over her shoulder. "As I recall, you needed to buy some human clothes, too, so stop complaining and walk."

"Don't remember volunteerin' for this--"

"Oh, suck it up. I only need to hit one more store, then we can start on you!"

"I can pick out my own damn clothes--"

"And you always come out looking like a thug."

"So?"

"And stop leaking your energy everywhere, you're like a beacon for any hollows dumb enough to be out in the day."

"At least I'll have somethin' to look forward to."

"After we're done with you, shoes!"

"I have shoes."

"Not for you."

"I'm completely shocked."

"I'm glad Yumichika's busy today, Captain would never agree to hold my bags for me."

"I never agreed to this--"

Matsumoto ducked into the last store and immediately headed to the counter to harrass the clerk for a deal and maybe some nice recommendations. Harrass with her boobs, which Ikkaku really didn't think of as harrassment at all (but evidently Matsumoto did and it worked, so who was he to complain?). He found a couch, dumped the bags he'd been saddled with next to it and plopped into the seat.

He had also, wrongly, thought that the worst of it was over. Buying stuff normally meant walking into a store, finding something that was more or less the right size, paying for it and walking out. He'd had human world assignments before, no problem.

Buying stuff with Matsumoto (even if it wasn't buying her stuff) was always shopping and shopping with Matsumoto made shopping with Yumichika feel like a walk in the park. Ikkaku wasn't sure why it took him so long to figure this out. He's known Matsumoto for nearly a century. Fatal oversight on his part.

"We're done, right?"

"You haven't even tried them on!"

"It's the right size, it looks fine--"

Matsumoto shoved him into the dressing room before he had a chance to protest. "I wanna see how it looks on you!"

"Well, it makes your butt look good."

"'Pretty sure it's the other way around-- look, can we leave yet?"

"Try the shirt, too!"

Ikkaku tried the shirt.

"It looks too... schoolboy? Roll up the sleeves."

"It looks like every single other shirt in this fuckin' store--"

"Roll up the sleeves! Come on, Ikkaku. I outrank you."

"Or maybe I don't do it and just walked out right now."

"I'll tell Vice Captain Kusajishi you were being mean to me, Ikkaku~"

"Fine, goddamnit."

"Now the sleeveless!"

"Don't you have shoes to buy?"

"... it looks good. Really good. But you suddenly look like a thug."

"I always look like a thug."

"It was almost kinda classy with the other shirt, but the bad boy look really works for you. But the nice shirt's so much more all-purpose..."

"You're enjoying this. This is the last time I complain about shopping with Yumichika."

"I would enjoy this a lot more if you stopped whining."

"'Cause the one thing I wanna do is make sure this is a pleasant experience for ya."

Matsumoto checked her nails, then threw a belt at his chest. "I didn't know you were so sarcastic. Were you always this sarcastic? You're never like this when we drink."

"Might be 'cause I'm usually drunk when we drink."

"Okay, you're getting the sleeveless. We need to find you a jacket, too."

"We do?"

"Just go!"

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